i d!= dream

CSC camp has finally ended... felt like i could breathe again... couldnt smile at all thru the camp... really dissappointed with myself... while we aim to make this camp the best experience for the freshies... i dun think this camp has become a very good experience for me... where had the cheerful me who kept on smiling last cac camp gone to??? this time i'm juz totally dissappointed with the camp... and juz as i'm finally thought i could cheer up a little during the last day, some one juz had to spoil it... damn it! the person has already spoilt my whole camp, why cant he juz let me be happy for the last day? i really tried very hard to keep my temper down during the camp... but the only thing which i cant do is to smile all the time... i look at other ppl who are so happy during the camp... i really felt very very upset.... thru out the camp ppl kept on asking me to go rest... coz they look at my face and tot i'm really tired... but no!!!! i'm not tired at all... i'm juz fed up... upset... angry.... watever.... come on... i've survived thru worst camp who din even let us sleep... wat makes me unable to take it now? i really wanted this camp to be a wonderful camp not juz for the freshies but also for myself loh... i want to enjoy the camp... have fun thru out... but somehow i think i'll juz give up... i dun even want to care abt anything.... if not for i'm the akc of the group and i think that the groups welfare is the most important responsibility to me in the camp, i wont even make the honey water, make the freshie take pi pa gao and help them do this and that....oh ya... i wont even cheer with them... the whole thing is juz a mess up thing for me.... i'm juz glad that i fulfilled my job requirement and did a great job in fact... but i'm really sorry to the group that i din give my best... i kind of had a withdrawal from everything... but i had to thank the freshies for voting me as the best councilor for the group... but i'm really sorry that i dun feel happy that i got that award... coz it make someone feel dissappointed and i really felt trapped in the middle... wat am i suppose to do? i din forced them to vote for me wad... i rather they had vote for somebody else instead... then the very least i can cheer myself up for the last day of the camp... it's already the last day and i cant have my peace...... idiot................haiz........ sianz lah.......... dun want to continue leh... make me even more sianz........ hopefully cac camp can enjoy....