i d!= dream

hahahah.. finally can see the change le... yeah!~

idiot... make changes to my blog template.. but i cannot update... argh...

Background:
*天天想你
天天问自己
用什么方式来爱你
天天想你
天天守住一颗心
把我最好一刻留给你*


你转身离去
我看见窗外下起了雨
从咖啡杯升起的雾
模糊了窗
也模糊了我的眼

雨一滴一滴的打在屋檐上
我的泪也一滴一滴的打在桌上
想追出去找你
但人好像黏在椅上 动也不能动

雨愈下愈大
我们之间的隔阂也越来越大
曾经的雨中漫步
如今却孤单的被雨淋湿

雨打在身上 感觉不到
但你的一声对不起
有如一枪射中我心
身上的水
以不知是雨是泪还是血

期待天空放晴的那刻
等待天边的那道彩虹
到时伤也该复合了 :)


hahahaha... this is not my first song... i juz cant seem to figure out wat's wrong with the first one... so i wrote the 2nd one... which i think dun make much sense also... but at least i can sing it in proper melody... hahahahah... i even tot of the 编曲... think it will be nice that in the starting there's "天天想你" as the background music... hahahaha

arghz... still cant perfect my song... the chorus still looks weird... and the melody is still not out yet... arghz.. quite pechek...

hmmm... finally finish exams le... but i'm not happy.. feel like wont do well leh...
now my heart got a empty feeling inside... went to watch movie with my mom and friends... watch polar express and incredibles... let's not tok abt polar express.. coz i juz find it really nice... but no other special feelings... then the incredibles is suppose to be really funny... and really nice.. but dunno why i got laugh lah... but then i dun really feel much abt the movie leh... it's juz another show to me... spent 8.50 on the movie loh.. shld really watch something that's worth it.. but then i dunno why i juz feel nothing abt the movies... very qi guai... anyway, feel kind of out watching incredibles with jie mei and anan... juz feel like i've watch the movie alone.. think jie mei could have juz ask anan to watch with him...it doesnt matter whether i'm there or not leh... not saying they left me out or wat lah... but then dun feel like i'm watching the movie with anyone leh... maybe that's the difference watching movie with guys and gers...

or maybe it's juz because of my own mood... i juz dont seem to be interested in anything... i dont feel like leaving my house.. the only time that i really dont mind getting out of the house is when i go and run...feels that running really let me think of nothing else... can juz go run and run and run... doing that every alternate days now... abit siao but i dunno why i juz want to do that...
hmmm... tml going to start on cross stitch... wonder if i shld give my work to anybody... hmm... wait till i finish making then say ba... now too early to think...

hahahaha... my beloved chinese heritage is gone liao... both in terms of finish the paper and the "gone"... ppl u all shld know... haiyo... dunno wat i'm doing at all... write 2 essays i only used 3 pages... 完了完了... and then i know for sure i din really answer to the point loh... haiyo... shld have done the other qn... but that qn i only know the points... dunno the examples... also cannot write... jialet... then the 1st qn i only write one page... somemore missed out the most impt point... argh!!! stupid me... think this exam is really a very 恐怖one for me... juz hope that i can pass everything and then manage a C average... gosh... wat's happening to me... how come come uni le then results drop so badly... damn it... i'm definitely going to work harder next sem... no more daydreaming...
hmmm... k lah... better go study for living with maths and maths le... i hope to do well at least in them...

hahahaha... juz read jw's comment... ask me why i so high recently... hahahaha... seriously no idea... that's why i think i going siao siao liao.... tml 1pm is my chinese heritage paper... and i still haven finish reading the basic readings... but i'm still happy... hahahaha... siao me... really very shen qi... hahahaha... but i nv use SKII leh.... hahahaha... kk, i crapping... trying to be lame... hahaha...
anyway, i created my first baby!~ hahahaha.... it's my first song lah... finish writing le then find it got 几米 style... hahaha... quite like it... but then still need to make some amendments to the chorus... still not perfect yet... hahaha... haven got the melody yet... dunno if it can be sung... i look at the lyrics like quite weird.. not sure shld be a fast or slow song... hmmm... nvm, i finish editing le then post online, then ppl help me decide hor... hahahaha....
k lah... back to mugging... my beloved chinese heritage: history and literature.... :P

i wonder if it's the exam or is it because of me being too too sensitive... today was juz watching the news abt the thailand ppl folding paper cranes to seek peace, then i suddenly feel like crying... coz i feel really sad... think i'm crazy le... dunno why recently suddenly feel like crying so much... juz yesterday was telling mama abt my nightmare in hall then as i tok and tok i want to cry... and i did... cried a little.. heehee... :P but i din dare to let my mom see... so pretend to take clothes from behind then quickly wipe away the tears... dont want mama to worry abt me... even though that nite i wanted so badly to go home immediately late in the middle of the night... in the end had to hide inside my blanket... terribly homesick... if there is not paper the next day i die die will go home...
anyway, back to the crying thingy... think i'm siao liao... if it because last time when i'm young i din cry a lot? too guai liao... maybe if i cry more then now wont want to cry so much liao... hahahah... totally crapz... or maybe i'm really a terribly sensitive creature... haahaha... think i always like to cry but too shy to cry... dont like to let ppl see me cry... but cant help feeling this tinge of sadness everytime... maybe i'm the kind of person who will get into depression... hhaahaha... crapz again... aiya... like to cry then like to cry loh... 没设么大不了的... hahahha... think this exam is really turning me crazy liao....
i shall never be so unprepared again... this time is really horrible loh... i spend the sem dunno studying wad... never being so unprepared for a exam before... seriously this time i studied harder even than when i studied for A's loh... but i know the results wont be so fantastic... coz i havent being consistent in my work... slack too much le... muz take this time as a 教训. next sem onwards cannot play play leh... i hope to pull up my cap...
btw, i think parents are very strange people... isnt it good that i'm willing to study so hard for my exams??? but my mom and dad juz keep on telling me to rest... dun study too much... muz rest also... dun get too tired... funny... now exams time leh... if i dun study now when shld i study? and i alreay lagged so much... think my physics paper gone somemore... jialet... think it's very ineffiecient to study at home... din get much done... and my mom actually make me go watch tv so that i wont be studying... gosh.... plus all the food that they are feeding me... hahaha... no wonder i want to stay at home and never leave the house... hahahaha... me too pampered le... not good not good... hahaha...:P
anyway, 4 more days to end of exams... i shall jia you jia you!!!! make sure i do better for the rest of the papers than i do for physics... tsktsk... my physics really sux... anyone can help?? hahhahaah.... k lah... back to mugging maths which i'm not much better.... hahahhahah....

i wonder if ppl know... when suddenly they dun sound like themselves it probably is the most themselves.. and when ppl suddenly change back from not sounding themselves to themselves... it's actually not themselves...
i feel it now... mentally and spiritually drained..
i need to focus more next sem.. this sem too many distractions le...
jia you to myself!!!!
and to the ppl ard me...

maybe i shld rite a song abt this after the exams...
hmmm... think i need to be crazy after exams... do crazy things... be not myself...

You are Yellow Raccoon, who is innocent and depends on people. You are also amiable and graceful. You tend to take passive attitude with gentle and modest ways of expression.You are well liked by both men and women. You listen to others well, and try to adapt to them. This makes you feel your emotions are being opressed, and therefore you may suffer mentally.Unlike your modesty, you hate being restricted. You want to do whatever you like, and when you like.You are rather temperament, and are emotionally delicate. You have great artistic sense, and if you come in touch especially with traditional and ancient things, fortune will smile on you. It may be good to make museum tours as your hobby.You are not good at housework; you prefer to work on something you like.When you get to the middle ages, you may take an interest in spiritual world. You may experience great change in life. You live your life steadily, so you shouldn't rush into things.You have strong motherly feelings, and people depend on you a lot. After getting married, you will keep your house well.

hahaha... this is wat i got after giving the details for the website http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/color_cheki1.php hahaha... quite zhun lah... ppl try lah... then let me know wat u all got... hahahaha...soo fun.... :P

hahaha... dunno why the other time i feel like typing jealous only... hahaha... cant remember now... think i thought the font not big enough some more... hahahaha... not trying to avoid ur qn, cousin... but really cant remember le...
anyway, not much too update either... today went specially down to jurong pt so that i can go to the library but to only discover it's close... argh!!!! idiot... but the good pt is i can be sure that the bks will remain there till tues... when i go down again... hahaha..
hmmm... exams coming le... i still like quite slack... watch vcds somemore... diaoz... think i really slacker.... :P rite now only read a bit of physics and maths... die liao... how to go exams like that... think i better buck up a little... hahaha... mr cheng still say muz pia for dean's list... hahaha.. abit hard leh... esp now since i'm still slacking.. hahahaha...
anyway, jia you everyone!!!~ we can make it thru one!!!~ yeah!!~
hmmm... still in the happy mode... wonder wat's wrong with me.. hahaha.. happy for so long without reasons... i going siao siao liao...
hhaahah....
anyway, going back to sch to study tml.... anyone wants to join??? if not i think will be juz me and [jie mei with peifen]... then i'll be so lightbulb... hahaha... if really like that then i dun want to study with them le... rather study along somewhere else... hahahahaa....
k lah... juz make a short entry today... shld be studying now... heehee.... :)

hahaha... btw, the colour thing is really nice... think i like the colours alot... and my white background is juz nice... to match everything... hahahah.. me high liao.. again... hahahaa.. siao liao... i really turning crazy... heehee... k lah.. better stop.. if not i'll go on and on and dun stop... :P

JEALOUS!!!!

oh!!!~ juz to let ppl know.. hahaha... school network actually allowed me to download songs... hahahha... was using this software call limewire.. then the school network nv blocked it.. ahahha... so me now using it to download songs... :P hahahaha.. bad bad me....

hahahaha... i think i really type until i'm high liao.. waiting for daddy to come.. hahaha.. now dunno wat to do also .. shld be studying.. but i lazy.. hahaha.. so shall continue to type crap... hahaha.. today is a many post day... post and post and post... hahahaha... and more and more colours!!~

aiya... got nothing to do now.. so shall juz post crappy post... ahahahhaa...
think everytime i write shall use a different colour... hahaha... then will look colourful...
hahaha.. that day rachel they all say my blog very boy.. not like a girl write one.. hahaha.. so i shall add colours!!~

oh... juz realise like more ppl know the existence of my blog le... so ppl, if u all go any comment or watsoever things that u all want to write down for me, juz leave me a comment k... lalalallalaa...
quite high now... hahahahha... lalalalalala

i use to do watever u want me to do...
go whereever u want me to go
be whoever u want me to be...
but i realise i cant go on anymore...
i'm drained... tired... exhasted....
there's much more in life that i shld experience...
i have moved on...
things that need to be put down is past...
now i long for the future...
where i'll be i dunno...
but i'll love to discover...
doors are opened everywhere...
all i have to do is to push...
there's no point to continue pushing a locked up door...
for i have no spell or enchantment like witches do...
on and on i go...
round and round i go...
life is like a merrygoround...
i need to enjoy myself... :)

hmmm... realise i very long nv update le...
like got alot of things to say but i juz cant remember them rite now...
kk... hmmm.. recently juz went out with lokman they all to eat dinner...kind of celebrated rachel's bday also... hahaha... really enjoyed going out with them... tok alot of 38 stuff also... hahaha...
oh... then juz tuesday went to eat prata with liyan at fongseng at 1plus at nite!~ hahaha... had to finish my project report first so went knock on liyan's door only at 12... hahaha.. then dilly dally here and there... we set out only at 1230...hahahha.. walk all the way there... juz the two of us... hahaha.. so romantic... :P hahaha... we tok alot also... there's juz so much to tok abt.. hahaha... finally reached back hall only at 2 plus... hahaha...think that's going to be our first and last experience of hall life... as in walk out to eat supper... coz liyan says she might not be staying for next sem... feel really sad abt it... then i'll have no one to pei me eat dinner and do this and that le....sobsob... i'll miss her if she decide not to stay... things wont be the same without her...
hmmm.. then the next day me and liyan actually went to sing ktv... hahaha.. ppl say we really know how to enjoy life... exams coming le we still like slacking ard... now to think of it... kind of feel guilty now... hahahah.. but really had lots of fun....sing until we dun feel like going... din get to sing all the SHE songs coz the people came in to tell us we only left the last song... :P going to sing with her some other time... juz so happy to sing with her...:)
hmmm... that's like juz wat i can remember now leh... the other events all forget liao...
k lah.. tok abt today ba... started my first day of serious studying... went jurong lib with jiemei and his friend... hahaha.. his friend is really cute and friendly... nice toking to her... anyway, she's really petite... hahaha... crapz... hmmm.. then got kind of chase out of the library.. hahaha.. in the end came back to school to study....went lt25... it's really cold there.... hahaha.. study a bit of maths... abt 3 chapters only!!!! gosh.. i'm really slow... very very slow... like a tortise... no like a snail... worst.. i think i've made no progress at all.. die liao... now i'm panicking le.. not enough time to cramp so much things in my small small brain... tsktsk... shall work harder.... :_(

hahahah.. dun feel like sleeping yet... so finally coming to update my blog...
hahaha... now got nothing to hide liao... jie mei knows it le... so might as well juz show everything... realise i very stupid leh... actually show all not so obvious.. trying to hide then even reveal it more... hahaha.. think this also applies to real life situation... shan't try to hide anymore things...
anyway, to let all my caring friends know... hahahaa... (juz found out from lokman, that ppl know abt this blog liao.. hahaha...) jie mei has "officially" become juz a jie mei... in fact, he is really like my gor now loh... hahaha... really tok crap with him... oh... then remember last time was sitting in the canteen trying to enlighten him on stats, then he friend came over to tok to him... hahahaa... i no longer siam away loh... juz walk back to the seat to sit down and self entertain myself... hahahha... that really make me confirm he has transform into my gor...... hahaha... coz everytime my gor tok to his frens when i ard i also heck care to siam one... juz stay there and zhuo bo... hahahaha.....
hahahaha... some other things happen also but cant remember all... suddenly this period of time i like ultra high... juz feel happy no matter where i go... (but the feeling fadded this wk... coz of some stupid things which i will elaborate later) then weijun got attached also... so happy for her... dunno why i juz feel very happy for friends that got attached... will have the fairy tale feeling... then will keep me happy also... hahaha.. but then now weijun attached she like abandon me and liyan...sobsob... hahahaa... but it's natural... she shld!~ hahahaaha... so friends ard me.... go get attached!!! then can keep me happy for a long long time... hahahaa... actually happy also bcoz of other reasons lah... i think i finally gotten a load of my shoulders le... hahaha.... then everything juz seem so simple to me... no longer so complicated..hahahaha....
anyway, this wk juz begin only then i got really irritated... had to set up booth in my hall dinning hall to sell computer products and cup noodles... supposed to be the whole commitee helping out loh... but in the end it turn out to be juz the marketing department doing all the work... the rest(except a few) all juz see see look look... din even bother to help... some more sit beside our booth and eat so long... got time to eat then why dont come and help us get more costomers?? y??? even the big boss is like that... how do they expect me to continue like that??? juz because i am the overall in charge doesnt mean everything loh... i need to rest and eat also loh... it juz make me so fed up that i want to heck care the whole thing...at first mon still ok.. at least got ppl come down to carry the stuff to the dinning hall... but then once the booth starts then everything get messy... they juz assume that i know everything... from product prices to describtion...blah and blah and blah.... i dunno everything loh... if they dunno the price juz check the price list loh... product describtion i also check the behind of the box only mah... this kind of things dun need to teach one rite? now i macham like memorise everything like that... being the overall in charge doesnt mean i have to be physically present all the times loh... now i dont even have time to eat... in the end i juz have to put down everything say i go and eat loh... if not i like cannot leave the booth at all... then tues is worst.... everything even more disorganise... call me in the middle of my tut saying wont be able to make it back to hall in time.... being the ic for the day shld know wat are her responsibilities loh... and when i hang up on her.. she shld know i having lesson and not call again mah... call so many times... i juz cant pick up the phone loh... somemore by the time i reach back to hall they are still not back yet...lucky got liyan to help me loh... then i manage to get jack to come over to help me...(sorry jack... who tell u to wave to me from ur window? hahaha... caught u... but really thanks!~ sorry to bother ur friend also...) see... even ppl who are not from xqrj came over to help... wat abt the others??? alll disappear... then han yang juz stayed in the dinning hall...my god... he shld go get the stuff first mah... in the end our booth only starts ard 7... which is one whole hr wasted loh...and the other xqrj ppl din even bother to help when they are eating in the same place... come on loh... as if sit there got use... sit there got use then i shld sit down also loh...i ask them to eat closer to the booth is to ask them to help pull customers loh... dun feel like helping out in the booth anymore...very tired.. and dun really have encouraging words from anybody in the comm... wat the....that makes my mood real bad loh... i cant always run here and there... tml then last day le... i dunno if i shld stay to help out... rather help liyan go meet sponsors... juz hope things wont be so messy tml like today... very upsetting loh...one person cannot do all the work... i cant run here and there carry this and that... i got my limits one loh... i really dunno wat to say liao...
juz now then liyan came over to our rm to complain together with me... i dunno whether it's our problem that we din blend in well with the rest or there really exist a problem in the comm... wonder why the others are like still saying they feel so touched after the seminar... that's crap loh... i felt so redundent in the seminar... dont need me at all loh... somemore got disturb by some 变态 person... keep smsing and calling me... lucky now stop liao.. if not i ask him out and hoot him till he vomit blood loh... siaoz loh... wat nv see me in the seminar... who want to see him... crap... he doesnt even know what the whole thing is abt loh... if u have no interest then dun come... dont waste our space... want to know gers go somewhere else... we got more impt things to do.... see... how can i not be in bad mood??? nvm... finally get to vent my fastration here by typing it out... hahaha.. if not will keep remembering the things loh... hahahaha....
k lah... think i better go sleep le... its 5am leh!!!
heehee... thank god my tut is at 1pm... if not how to wake up in time?? haahaha.. but then haven try the tut... think need to wake up abit earlier to do also...=]