Saturday, September 03, 2005
Post Birthday post...
i'm now offically 20... reach the big 2 liao... receive a number of presents from my dear friends... lots of smses from my old to new friends, some i'm really surprise that they remembered.. then got 2 bday celebration also.. one from agapo ppl.. and the other from the yishun ppl.. but no surprise lah.. i kind of expected it... guess i'm really horrible... i juz cant stop myself from destroying the surprises ppl had for me.. some how i'll juz have the yu4 gang3 that something is going to happen and i'll be expecting it to happen in exactly the way that i tot...
but anyway, guess this yr's bday wasnt such a great day for me... i dunno why but i'm juz not happy... am i demanding too much or wat? i juz dunno why... think i'm upset that the first person to wish me is not the person i want...but it's ok last nite i was made happy again when yishan came and wish me on msn... and she told me that she actually pasted a memo on her lappy to remind herself abt my bday... i'm really touched by it..it touches me that someone actually cared so much abt me.... and it's someone whom i've not contacted for quite some time... i'm juz really thankful that i had such a wonderful friend... wonder how can i live without such friends... and also thanks to yijun also... thanks for remembering..
anyway, back to the bday day itself... the morning started fine... in fact it was great... coz smses was pouring in from ppl whom i din expect to remember my bday at all.. thanks ppl... it's great knowing that u all care... and well, the greatest surprise was when weijun knocked at my door... at first i tot she's juz going to wish me happy bday but instead she gave me a big box! well i really din expect it... din know she wld make such great effort to get me a present... of coz i muz thank liyan too! thanks lao dou!~ it's ppl like u that make me the happiest person!~ thanks my dears.... btw, the present is a musical box! the one i always wanted when i was young but no one will buy for me... inside got ballet dancer one... the present juz got me so excited that i was jumping around with it...
also need to thanks wey ling!~ thanks ger!~ it's so sweet of u to remember my bday and gave me that present... it's really nice of u... big surprise too.. hahaha... and ur effort to try to catch me... thanks ger!~ thank you thank you thank you...
then after that bryan came lah... hmmm... got surprise also but shldnt talk abt it here... then after that we left for yishun and then my mood juz go down from the trip there onwards... i dunno wat's wrong with me lah... think i've got some problem in my head and heart.... i juz got sianz with everything... and there's no one to cheer me up... dun feel like a bday at all... juz think that the session is horrible, the elections is horrible... dunno why, i juz think everything is so messed up and no one even care.... maybe it's juz my prob...it seem like everyone's so happy but only i dun think so... and everyone got a friend to tok to except me... kk.. blame me for not making an effort... blame myself for being lazy... but i juz dun feel like approaching anyone at all... and then juz now when i was showering i suddenly got this tot... i dun want to be in yishun anymore... i juz want to get out of this mess asap... i even tot of being irresponsible and juz quit even b4 the camp thing is done and over...i juz want to get away.... horrible me i know... but i juz want to get out of everything... is it a sign that i'm burnt out? or wat? i dunno... anyone can give me an enlightenment?
anyway, juz some conclusion from the day itself... i always tot surprise is good.. is impt.. but then today i realise something too.. surprise itself is not enough... u need make the person feel speical also... there's no point surprising the person when it only make the person feel that wat u're doing is like li4 xing2 gong1 shi4? u do it becoz u shld and not bcoz u care?
anyway, i finally dropped the tears that shld have been dropped yesterday... i need a better way to vent my emotions...
btw, to loky... the results to the evaluation is out... fail.. how?
but anyway, guess this yr's bday wasnt such a great day for me... i dunno why but i'm juz not happy... am i demanding too much or wat? i juz dunno why... think i'm upset that the first person to wish me is not the person i want...but it's ok last nite i was made happy again when yishan came and wish me on msn... and she told me that she actually pasted a memo on her lappy to remind herself abt my bday... i'm really touched by it..it touches me that someone actually cared so much abt me.... and it's someone whom i've not contacted for quite some time... i'm juz really thankful that i had such a wonderful friend... wonder how can i live without such friends... and also thanks to yijun also... thanks for remembering..
anyway, back to the bday day itself... the morning started fine... in fact it was great... coz smses was pouring in from ppl whom i din expect to remember my bday at all.. thanks ppl... it's great knowing that u all care... and well, the greatest surprise was when weijun knocked at my door... at first i tot she's juz going to wish me happy bday but instead she gave me a big box! well i really din expect it... din know she wld make such great effort to get me a present... of coz i muz thank liyan too! thanks lao dou!~ it's ppl like u that make me the happiest person!~ thanks my dears.... btw, the present is a musical box! the one i always wanted when i was young but no one will buy for me... inside got ballet dancer one... the present juz got me so excited that i was jumping around with it...
also need to thanks wey ling!~ thanks ger!~ it's so sweet of u to remember my bday and gave me that present... it's really nice of u... big surprise too.. hahaha... and ur effort to try to catch me... thanks ger!~ thank you thank you thank you...
then after that bryan came lah... hmmm... got surprise also but shldnt talk abt it here... then after that we left for yishun and then my mood juz go down from the trip there onwards... i dunno wat's wrong with me lah... think i've got some problem in my head and heart.... i juz got sianz with everything... and there's no one to cheer me up... dun feel like a bday at all... juz think that the session is horrible, the elections is horrible... dunno why, i juz think everything is so messed up and no one even care.... maybe it's juz my prob...it seem like everyone's so happy but only i dun think so... and everyone got a friend to tok to except me... kk.. blame me for not making an effort... blame myself for being lazy... but i juz dun feel like approaching anyone at all... and then juz now when i was showering i suddenly got this tot... i dun want to be in yishun anymore... i juz want to get out of this mess asap... i even tot of being irresponsible and juz quit even b4 the camp thing is done and over...i juz want to get away.... horrible me i know... but i juz want to get out of everything... is it a sign that i'm burnt out? or wat? i dunno... anyone can give me an enlightenment?
anyway, juz some conclusion from the day itself... i always tot surprise is good.. is impt.. but then today i realise something too.. surprise itself is not enough... u need make the person feel speical also... there's no point surprising the person when it only make the person feel that wat u're doing is like li4 xing2 gong1 shi4? u do it becoz u shld and not bcoz u care?
anyway, i finally dropped the tears that shld have been dropped yesterday... i need a better way to vent my emotions...
btw, to loky... the results to the evaluation is out... fail.. how?
// posted by giam @ 1:26 AM 
