i d!= dream

haven been blogging for a long time..

well, birthday's over... think i'm a lousy host... din interact with most ppl... nv take much pics... coz i was too tired.. but really got to thank my friends who came.. for they self-entertained themselves.. and many thanks for helping me fulfill my wishlist.. really got every item listed.. felt bad making u all spend so much.. and sorry to those who were lost trying to find the venue.. esp to weyling..
and sorry and thanks to ppl who make it down.. me being a lousy friend, din even send any sms to thanked u all for coming down... blame it on my laziness..
for ppl who manage to read thru this lump of mess... u're amazing... u see i'm so lazy that i dun even bother to add in the commas, full stops, etc...

oh ya,
and not forgetting liyan, thanks for calling all the way from china... how come everyone manage to see u online except me? see from ur nick that it's cold over there, wear more clothes!

think the party was seriously quite a flop esp when i compared it to other ppls... things juz din go the way that i planned... maybe it's becoz i din prepare enough back up plans... merely came out with a plan A and then happily assume that things will run the way i want it.. well... it's sooooo wrong... firstly, my guest table ended up being koped by the caterer to put the drinks... then my guests came late... mostly becoz they are lost... seee... i din give them enough instructions or directions... 630pm start become 8pm... haiz... then my guest book got 'kidnapped' and so not everyone signed on the book... (i'm really upset about that... haiz... ) and the cutting of cake was terrible... i juz want to get over it and done with asap that i juz want to start cutting my cake asap... so.. the photo taking was horrible.. it's like a routine that everyone does so i take pictures loh... it's really bad lah... the effects of the photos.. like i dunno my friends like that... haiz... there're actually more things that din went my way, but i dun think i should go on and on about it le... time to let go and move on...

anyway, finally getting more focus for studies liao... manage to keep myself awake for most of the lectures.. something which i haven been doing since the beginning of sch... it's amazing that i used to be able to sleep for every class.. whether it's 1hr or 2hr... i juz keep on sleeping...

stomach's really weak recently.. missed a day of class becoz of stomach pain... and i dun even know the cause... maybe it's bcoz of the irregular meals since i shifted into kuok ba... now no meals provided so i dun really eat my meals properly.. but time to change! cant afford to fall sick now le...

it's another 70 days to my first papers... and i haven catch up in any of my readings, lec etc... i'm so going to die... transport quiz was already a alarm... continue to slack is definitely going to coz my cap to drop like siaoz... and i really cant afford that... so start studying!!! *slap my own face*

it's amazing how ppl can use all the chim chim words in their blog... i'll only write in broken singlish... as long as i can understand can le... even though i secretly hope i can write like a poet... or something to that extend... i'll probably never reach that...

bellydance's ending soon... i'll be able to make it for yishun's last session!~ think i kind of missed carina.. i dreamt of her juz a few nights ago... hahaha... weird rite... and it's in a yishun session...

anyway, think my relationship with dear is getting much better than before.. but seriously i still got the unsecure feeling... there's sort of like a constant fear... and i cant really forget wat happen.. not yet.. esp that nite when we saw that person appearing when we went to watch forbidden city... u probably cant tell, but my mood is really greatly affected.. so much that i think becoz of that i cant enjoy the show totally.. hhahaha... of coz i know that it's not ur fault that she would appear lah... but i juz dun like it... and she seemed to be everywhere that nite... and i'm damned irritated lah... first saw her at the entrance.. then tot we'll lose sight of her by walking faster out of the theatre.. but suay suay see her again when we were walking over to mrt.. tot by walking faster and choosing to take taxi instead we'll not see her again.. but damn suay i am that nite lah... she walked behind us right up to the taxi stand... thank god that she din take taxi at the same taxi stand, if not i'll faint.. seriously... it's really a torture to walk in that pair of heels lah... and i already got blister behind my foot.. so i was trying so hard to tolerate the pain and so we can walk faster... but i dunno why we juz cant shake her off... think it's juz my suay-ness ba...

anyway, talking about forbidden city... i dunno whether it's becoz of my affected mood or wad.. i juz dun think that it's nice... felt the best part about it, is that the music the orchestra played really was 'on the beat', that it blend with the actions on stage seamlessly... but i dun think too highly of the arrangement of the music.. esp when the actors sing together... felt that it's far too messy and cant really make out wat words they were singing... and their singing were too loud that it covered the main actor/actress voice... felt that it was 45 bucks wasted... hopefully i can write something out of that for my science of music paper... maybe like that then not so wasteful ba...

ok, back to me and dear... i'm juz hoping that we'll continue to stay the way we are ba... i'm seriously trying to be interesting by keeping in mind watever "interesting" things that happen to me through out the day ( like falling/sliding down the stairs again at the same location.. etc... ) not sure if i can keep up with it esp since work is starting to pile up le... i know dear is trying to spend "quality" time with me also... but being with me yet not talking to me isnt very convincing way of showing how to spend " quality" time rite? i muz be asking for too much le... think wat i juz type sounds too demanding... but is it the way it should be? dunno dunno dunno...

hmmm... i'm probably going a little crazy that i'll juz keep on typing and typing if i dun try to stop myself... that's the bad point about not blogging regularly.. u end up storing so much stuff that u want to type it out in one go...

think i sound far too negative in this post le... need to change the attitude... hopefully next time i can talk about the things i learn in lec ba... i'm beginning to find my geotech lecturer more and more cute and interesting... hahaha.. esp today during tutorial when he was 'complaining' about how the authorities do things and their special 'alarm clock' to change the way they do things... but even though i like him, it doesnt translate into me liking geotech... i'm still lost in the pile of soil accumulated from slope failure...

and oh ya... today a PHD came give us a lecture about transport material... and he's really YOUNG! gosh... how did he manage the work? i'm amazed... dun think i'll ever become a PHD... but all lecturer say no PHD = not specialized = low pay... i dun want!!!! i want HIGH PAY!!!! how how? cant even get into the masters program loh...

argh... it's 2am le!!! tml got lab and tut... which i haven prepare yet... time to sleep!!! zzzzzzzz...